I WANT A WIFE!

I have only three more semesters till my last moments in Moi University. Common to many this is the year which you enjoy most and make most of your lifetime decisions. I want to remember it all and show it to the world thus my blog “I am the listener”. I created the blog knowing that most of it will involve what I hear. As usual I listen much and talk less but here I talk what I listened. Mind boggling right?

 All the real characters names are withheld.

I want a wife.

I start my blog with the M word, no, not men to the ladies but MARRIAGE. This is one term rarely heard on campus grounds but surprisingly enough today I was surrounded by marriage talks from a group of my friends. It all started as a joke actually with one participant let’s name him Max  claimed he needs something great in life before he gets to 25 and marry before 28. His comrade lets name him Mark G short for Mark Gordon agreed to it and it was our turn as the girls to state our positions. My friend Catherine claimed she wanted a kid by 28 but marriage was not a goal that she had set a date for. My opinion well was quite complicated: I want my first child by 29 years and live with the husband for a few years in a come we stay relationship to understand who I am going to marry [with the child in mind] before the M word comes to mind. Both men did not quite agree with my opinion but they both agreed they want a church wedding by the time they were 28 but not after 30. Their reasons were as follows:

a)      My mother will start asking questions, she needs grandchildren.

b)      It is a trend in the family from previous siblings.

They both had a common men’s strategy in marriage give her all she needs (Material and money) and unconditional love but in every case there are conditions.

First, they prefer having to come home and meet her there waiting for him. Mark G. gave an example that he would not like the idea of having him text his wife that he is in a “jam” and have her reply that she is right behind him. That is absurd he said. I had to oppose, we are in the 21^st century women want independence and their jobs are their main ways of expressing themselves. I am so glad my friend Catherine agreed; she actually made a joke on it let me quote “you need to get a primitive lady to fulfill such needs”.

Second condition, Loyalty. This started as a quick question for a cheating man who will the wife blame the lady or her man? The same applies to a cheating lady, who will the husband blame the man or his lady? I will not answer such questions as I know they are obvious to many and the answers are highly contradictory. This was a really bitter issue to Mark G. while Max just listened, Catherine on the other hand just added a few comments here and there. For me this specific issue was not one I wanted to be involved in but just listen and understand my comrades. Mark G. claimed he would kill the lady and he insisted on it till finally I realized he was saying the truth. He would do it no pun intended so for any of my girlfriends intending to marry a Mark G. or anyone similar to him be Loyal unless you want to die. Catherine then brought up the issue of men cheating and this is where it got all tricky. From Catherine’s expression and talk I could understand she was not into it though her grandparents are polygamous. Mark G.’s grandparents were also polygamous apparently. Max did not make matters any easier by delivering his punch statement “Men cannot say no to a lady”. This got me tempted to ask for the ownership of his phone just to see if he would say no. Sadly I didn’t lucky for him. He repeated this statement a couple of times with such force that it got me thinking that he might have an experience of it. Mark G. added weight to the issue with the claim that his wife might just miss one vital item that another lady has that he would really want. We all laughed at this statement but deep down the irony of it all was nagging feelings to me, I don’t know if I was the only one affected. Catherine suddenly changed the topic of conversation by a simple question “Do you think these campus relationships will last after 10 years from now?” Max just claimed he doesn’t want to present a real answer to this as you never know what the future holds. Mark G. on the other hand seemed unsure of its survival by his contradicting statements though his final opinion on it was similar to that of Max.

Third condition my Mother. This point was actually introduced by Catherine. Mark G. was interested on the list of factors women want in marriage and Catherine’s answer was Loyalty. She disregarded complete love with claims that a man’s first love and true love of their lives is their moms. This was a real soft spot for the men as they all began talking about their moms. Mark G. being the last born seemed most touched by explaining his story on how his mother was the reason for the change in his father. His father had been a longtime drunkard and his mother’s prayers and support was what kept the family alive and led to him turning to Christianity. Max had similar show of affection for his mom he even claimed he would like her to come often to his home and visit his wife. He added that he would really want his wife and mother to be best of friends. Catherine did not quite agree on this as for her all mothers should be a distant from their sons after they get married as this leads to so many complications afterwards. Max chose this moment to say he would buy his mother a range rover then considered the statement for some time before adding he would also buy one for his wife. “I am going to buy them their own range rovers in different colors to avoid drama” he added. Catherine had been quiet all through till she asked on how the married couple would intend to live with the husband’s mom around all through? The men claimed they would not allow her to stay for long around as they would end up being uncomfortable. This will prevent them from showing affection to their wives in public. This was followed by some few crude jokes from the men that would surely get them in trouble with their mom’s. To sum it up they would always be on their mother’s side even if she was on the wrong as Max said.

The conversation was coming to a close as all the others had to go to the library and I had this blog to publish but as usual my friend Catherine always knows how to end the conversation this was what she said ”We are too young to think of this now, for now let us live each day as it comes”