I have only three more semesters till my last
moments in Moi University. Common to many this is the year which you enjoy most
and make most of your lifetime decisions. I want to remember it all and show it
to the world thus my blog “I am the listener”. I created the blog knowing that
most of it will involve what I hear. As usual I listen much and talk less but
here I talk what I listened. Mind boggling right?
All the real characters names are
withheld.
I want a wife.
I start my blog with the M word, no, not men to the
ladies but MARRIAGE. This is one term rarely heard on campus grounds but
surprisingly enough today I was surrounded by marriage talks from a group of my
friends. It all started as a joke actually with one participant let’s name him
Max claimed he needs something great in
life before he gets to 25 and marry before 28. His comrade lets name him Mark G
short for Mark Gordon agreed to it and it was our turn as the girls to state
our positions. My friend Catherine claimed she wanted a kid by 28 but marriage
was not a goal that she had set a date for. My opinion well was quite
complicated: I want my first child by 29 years and live with the husband for a
few years in a come we stay relationship to understand who I am going to marry
[with the child in mind] before the M word comes to mind. Both men did not
quite agree with my opinion but they both agreed they want a church wedding by
the time they were 28 but not after 30. Their reasons were as follows:
a) My
mother will start asking questions, she needs grandchildren.
b) It
is a trend in the family from previous siblings.
They both had a common men’s strategy in marriage
give her all she needs (Material and money) and unconditional love but in every
case there are conditions.
First, they prefer having to come home and meet her
there waiting for him. Mark G. gave an example that he would not like the idea
of having him text his wife that he is in a “jam” and have her reply that she
is right behind him. That is absurd he said. I had to oppose, we are in the 21st
century women want independence and their jobs are their main ways of
expressing themselves. I am so glad my friend Catherine agreed; she actually
made a joke on it let me quote “you need to get a primitive lady to fulfill
such needs”.
Second condition, Loyalty. This started as a quick
question for a cheating man who will the wife blame the lady or her man? The
same applies to a cheating lady, who will the husband blame the man or his
lady? I will not answer such questions as I know they are obvious to many and
the answers are highly contradictory. This was a really bitter issue to Mark G.
while Max just listened, Catherine on the other hand just added a few comments
here and there. For me this specific issue was not one I wanted to be involved
in but just listen and understand my comrades. Mark G. claimed he would kill
the lady and he insisted on it till finally I realized he was saying the truth.
He would do it no pun intended so for any of my girlfriends intending to marry
a Mark G. or anyone similar to him be Loyal unless you want to die. Catherine
then brought up the issue of men cheating and this is where it got all tricky.
From Catherine’s expression and talk I could understand she was not into it
though her grandparents are polygamous. Mark G.’s grandparents were also
polygamous apparently. Max did not make matters any easier by delivering his
punch statement “Men cannot say no to a lady”. This got me tempted to ask for the
ownership of his phone just to see if he would say no. Sadly I didn’t lucky for
him. He repeated this statement a couple of times with such force that it got
me thinking that he might have an experience of it. Mark G. added weight to the
issue with the claim that his wife might just miss one vital item that another
lady has that he would really want. We all laughed at this statement but deep
down the irony of it all was nagging feelings to me, I don’t know if I was the
only one affected. Catherine suddenly changed the topic of conversation by a
simple question “Do you think these campus relationships will last after 10
years from now?” Max just claimed he doesn’t want to present a real answer to
this as you never know what the future holds. Mark G. on the other hand seemed
unsure of its survival by his contradicting statements though his final opinion
on it was similar to that of Max.
Third condition my Mother. This point was actually
introduced by Catherine. Mark G. was interested on the list of factors women
want in marriage and Catherine’s answer was Loyalty. She disregarded complete
love with claims that a man’s first love and true love of their lives is their
moms. This was a real soft spot for the men as they all began talking about
their moms. Mark G. being the last born seemed most touched by explaining his
story on how his mother was the reason for the change in his father. His father
had been a longtime drunkard and his mother’s prayers and support was what kept
the family alive and led to him turning to Christianity. Max had similar show
of affection for his mom he even claimed he would like her to come often to his
home and visit his wife. He added that he would really want his wife and mother
to be best of friends. Catherine did not quite agree on this as for her all
mothers should be a distant from their sons after they get married as this
leads to so many complications afterwards. Max chose this moment to say he
would buy his mother a range rover then considered the statement for some time
before adding he would also buy one for his wife. “I am going to buy them their
own range rovers in different colors to avoid drama” he added. Catherine had
been quiet all through till she asked on how the married couple would intend to
live with the husband’s mom around all through? The men claimed they would not
allow her to stay for long around as they would end up being uncomfortable.
This will prevent them from showing affection to their wives in public. This
was followed by some few crude jokes from the men that would surely get them in
trouble with their mom’s. To sum it up they would always be on their mother’s
side even if she was on the wrong as Max said.
The conversation was coming to a close as all the
others had to go to the library and I had this blog to publish but as usual my
friend Catherine always knows how to end the conversation this was what she
said ”We are too young to think of this now, for now let us live each day as it
comes”
